Dalal Street Community For Traders & Investors For Discussing Stocks Commodities & Forex
SEARCH ANYTHING

Go Back   Dalal Street Community For Traders & Investors For Discussing Stocks Commodities & Forex > Part Time Gossip > Jokes And Funny Stories
CHAT ROOM Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
INTRADAY CALLS(VIJAY)    IPO DIARY(goodbrother)   

Max/Min ChatBox (No new messages since your last visit)        INTRADAY CALLS(VIJAY)     IPO DIARY(goodbrother)
Loading...
Only registered members can post in this chatbox and forums. This ChatBox is for small talk and messages here are temporary. Post your comments/views in our forums/blogs. It will last long forever.
 
» Recent Blog Entries
Loan against shares written by ashwin on 11th September 2008

Buy FT written by buntypahujaa on 6th August 2008

Short term trade written by buntypahujaa on 6th August 2008

crude written by panco on 25th July 2008

Knowledge is power written by joesb213 on 20th July 2008

» Top Posters
• vijay (252)
• anish (170)
• admin (147)
• punnu (91)
• anupam (45)
» Current Poll
Is Nuclear Deal Suitable For Indian Growth?
Yes, It is needed as we are way behind many countries in terms of using nuclear energy for socio-economic use - 80.00%
12 Votes
No, as it will increase unemployement and halt the economic growth - 0%
0 Votes
No, Left advocates the true and clear vision about the progressive India - 0%
0 Votes
Can't Say. But It shouldn't be at the cost of Inflation or affect Indian economy - 20.00%
3 Votes
Total Votes: 15
You may not vote on this poll.

Some Stock Market/Financial Jokes ........

Share a Joke And Funny Stories about people losing/making money throu' markets by doing weird things.

Reply
 
LinkBack (6) Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
  6 links from elsewhere to this Post. Click to view. #1 (permalink)  
Old 10th April 2008, 04:00 AM
admin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Sign: Aries
Posts: 147
Blog Entries: 6
Thanks: 2
Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts
admin has disabled reputation
Smile Some Stock Market/Financial Jokes ........


"I hear that you drop some money in Markets. Were you a bull or a bear?"
"Neither, just a plain simple ass."

-------------------
Trading online is just great. I find it really speeds things up.
I now get my margin calls 5x faster than before

-----------------------------------
The stock market was in a terrible state. One day the Sensex was unchanged and they called it a rally......

------------------

The market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they're smart.

------------------

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.


------------------
October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.
- Mark Twain


------------------------------
These two women were walking through the forest when they hear this voice from under a log. Investigating, the women discovered the voice was coming from a frog:
"Help me, ladies! I am an investment banker who, through an evil witch's curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state!"
The first woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The second woman, aghast, screamed, "Didn't you hear him? If you kiss him, he'll turn into an investment banker?" The second woman replied, "Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than an investment banker!"

---------

Q: In these busy market times, how can you get the attention of your broker?
A: Say, "Hey, waiter!" (he's waitin always to get the price...)

---------
Q: How do you get a broker down from a tree? A: Cut the rope.

---------
The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried

---------

Wallstreet Market Commentary ...

Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remain unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
And Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market...


------------------------------

There are primarily 3 different types of investors who post on the message boards.
1. Those who don't know anything: approx. 10%
2. Those who know a little: approx. 10%
3. Those who don't realize they don't know anything: approx. 80%


----------
The best time to buy anything is last year

-----------------
Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.

---------------------

A market guru walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza. There the waiter asks him: "Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces?"
The guru replies: "I'm feeling rather hungry right now. You'd better cut it into eight pieces."
__________________



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


"A market analyst is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today!"

Last edited by admin; 10th April 2008 at 04:22 AM.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On
Forum Jump

LinkBacks (?)
LinkBack to this Thread: http://www.dstreetdirect.com/jokes-funny-stories/3044-some-stock-market-financial-jokes.html
Posted By For Type Date
Posts by Tom Barlow at BloggingStocks This thread Refback 30th October 2008 06:28 AM
Funny bidness: A little gallows humor to lighten your day - BloggingStocks This thread Refback 11th October 2008 06:14 AM
Digg - Stock Market Jokes This thread Refback 21st August 2008 01:54 AM
Financial Jokes - Crawler.com This thread Refback 8th May 2008 09:19 PM
The BEST STOCK TIPS/INTRADAY CALLS: US Markets First Quarter 2008 Performance at a Glance This thread Refback 12th April 2008 07:50 PM
The BEST STOCK TIPS/INTRADAY CALLS This thread Refback 10th April 2008 09:20 AM

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Stock Market Jokes admin Jokes And Funny Stories 3 11th April 2008 03:28 PM
Does anyone know a good stock market? resik World Markets (Affect On Indian Market) 3 8th April 2008 10:16 AM
Failure in foreign stock market!!! albion.jordan77 STOCK DISCUSSION/MARKET BUZZ 2 2nd April 2008 11:44 AM
is it good to buy stock at IPO or to buy from market ngrama STOCK DISCUSSION/MARKET BUZZ 7 2nd February 2008 11:01 PM
New to stock market sekhar20032000 Introduce Yourself... 0 15th December 2007 07:00 PM

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.0.1


Disclaimer:
As we all know that investing in any equity market is risky. Recommendations made by our board members are believed to be based on thier reliable and authenticated sources which are believed to be true and accurate, and also technical analysis is assumed to be based on and conceived from charts and/or by other means.
Investors should take their own decisions. We assume no responsibility for any transactions undertaken by them. The author/admin won't be liable or responsible for any financial losses made to anybody.
In case of any doubt you must post a reply and ask our members for clarification over the messages posted by them in the forum.

Thank You


ADMIN
Dalal Street Forums


All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 12:07 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2006 - 2008, Anand Web Services. All Rights Reserved.


Tracked by ClickAider



1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55